What Is This?

What is happening to me?

I worked for two years to get my paperwork together that would allow me to go to school, and now I don't want to go.

Other than the fact that I don't feel like leaving the house and would rather lie in bed, I don't have a real reason for not going.

I should be happy to go to class because my first class will have important info for an upcoming test, and in my second class I will be given my grade from the last assignment.

And on top of that, I just had a four day weekend (I don't have class on Fridays)!

What is going on with me?

I am kind of anxious to get the night over with but at the same time I'm dreading the ride to and from school.

This happens to me too often.

I can be happy and upset or fearful about something.

As long as I've had these mixed emotion you'd think I'd know how to handle them, but I don't.
The only thing I know how to do is push through them and know that I can only deal with things I can actually control.

I know that I can't make the sub or bus come any faster, but I can be on time to make sure that I'm not late.

I know that I can't make class go any faster while I'm there, but I can stay focused to fool myself into thinking that time is moving fast.

*sigh*

I'm going to try to not worry about tonight, but that's another symptom for me. And a whole different post.

For now, I'm going to try to relax and deal with the here and now.