Sunday, October 18, 2009

Guilty Until Proven Innocent

Over the last few weeks I've noticed that most nights when I'm trying to fall asleep I have feelings of guilt. I feel like I've done something wrong and I'm going to get caught.

I know that I haven't stolen, or lied, cheated or hurt someone intentionally, but I still feel guilty.

I remembered a tip from some of my old therapy sessions where whenever I have an emotion that seems to come on unexpectedly, I should retrace my thoughts to get to the root of the emotion.

I've done that many nights, but I still feel guilty.

It's not the kind of guilt where I feel like I've gotten away with something I shouldn't have, but the kind of guilt where I feel like someone is going to come into my bedroom to reprimand me.

Could it be that I feel guilty about going to sleep because I haven't been as productive during the day as I should have?

I think it is, because nothing else makes sense.

I don't think I will have that problem tonight because I got a lot done today.

I just need to repeat the process from here on out.

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