Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Back to Square One

Today I had a 1 o'clock appointment with my therapist which was purposely made for this time and day to coincide with a 2:45 appointment with my doctor.

I struggled to get out of bed and forced myself to go to the therapists appointment , only to find a note on her door reading:

'I am not seeing patients Tuesday or Wednesday'

WTF?!!

I was looking forward to this appointment because we were going to try art therapy, which Ive never done. Instead I had to wait in my doctor office for over 2 hours (he's never on time) with about 20 other patients that were pushed back or rescheduled because of the holiday.

I finally saw the doc and we decided to try yet another drug, Geodon. I trust his knowledge but when I looked up the drug, I grew hesitant.

Side effects:

severe chest pains
dizzy spells
insomnia
restlessness
weight loss
involuntary movement

A few years back I wouldn't have been so cautious, but after my trail and error of numerous drugs, I've found that I am in that small percentage of people who experience the worst batch of side effects.

At this point I have nothing to lose with trying another drug, Well, that's not entirely true. I have my sanity to lose, but with the way things have been going so far, it isn't that much.

Tonight I'm going to skip the dose of Zyprexa so that I can take the Geodon tomorrow. Hopefully all will go well. If not, I always have Big Z to fall back on.

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