Today was my birthday. My usual celebrations are very low key and decided to keep the tradition going. When I was taking a nap to get ready for the night, I got a call from a neighborhood friend, Joe, whom I haven't seen on about a month. When he found out that it was my birthday, he insisted that I come see him to celebrate.
I go to his house, and found that he was chilling with a few mutual friends, one of which was
J-dub. Because of the previous encounters with him, I decided that this would be the perfect time for me to get a few things off of my chest.
Once we were alone, I let him know how I felt about the situation and where we stand as friends.
1) I thought it was very strange, weird and down right disrespectful for him to not give me an official statement as to why we stopped dating, but I also let him know that I didn't let that interfere with our friendship.
2)With the way our last conversation went, I had to rethink we were we stood. I told him that I waited so long to say something because I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but found that even that was too much. All in all, I told him that I was disappointed and hurt that he didn't offer any kind of help for the situation I was in. And that I'm not saying that our friendship has ended, but at this point, I feel that it would be in my best interest that I distance from him. I also made it a point that I didn't want him to feel guilty or to think that he has to kiss my ass and the ground that I walk on, but I just expected him to be there for me like I have been there for him.
His side about the whole thing was:
1) He didn't know how to tell me that he wanted to be celibate, and thought I would be mad at him (which I was not. I was just mad that he didn't tell me directly. I had to figure that out on my own)
2)He pulled away from me because he had more things on his plate. ( to which I responded that I was not being angry about that, but instead angry that he gave me the impression that he didn't want to be bothered by me)
3) As long as the phone called was concerned, he was looking at it from his perspective. Whenever he's having a bad day, he'd rather not have anyone say anything to him, because that almost makes the situation worst, which he didn't want to do to me. ( Again, I told him that, whatever he was feeling he had to right to feel that way, but the fact that he said nothing, made the situation worse. Had he said that, I would've as least know that he wanted to do something, but didn't know what it was that needed to be done.)
In the end, I feel a little better that I got it off of my chest, but a small part of me thinks that it didn't even matter. He's still going to be him, and I'm still going to be me. Which is all that we can do. This just made me realize that I can't give people the benefit of the doubt. I just need to take things as that are. This birthday wasn't at all what I expected, but I did learn something: to not worry about people's feeling and to let people know how I feel. All I can do is what's best for me. If people have a problem with that, then they weren't real friends to begin with.
Here's to strengthening my backbone. I got a feeling that it's going to come in handy this year.
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