Lost For Words

What a week it has been.

Last Friday marked the last day of employment at my job. After thoughtful consideration about the position, I decided to quit. Nothing happened to bring about this decision, I just decided that I wasn't happy about going to work as I have been in the past. My co-workers were sad about my departure, but celebrated the new phase in my life over drinks on my last day. We reminisced about the good times and bad, and tried to predict the future of the 'newbies'. The night was ended with hugs and kisses and promises to keep in touch. It was hard leaving such an awesome group of people, but I knew it had to be done before the situation got any worse. it won't be long before we meet up again. I'm going to attend their annual hospitality party on Tuesday.

The majority of the following week was spent on my room, a.k.a. The Dungeon, mulling over my future. I've done the neccessary steps needed to start school in the fall but it's nerve wrecking waiting on the final word from the financial aid department.

Just when I had calmed my brain from obsessing about school, I got some devastating news from my mother. She told me about my sister's graduation today, which we are all happy about, but in the same breath, she told me that my sister is also pregnant. Under normal circumstances, a new birth is exciting, but in my sister's case, this couldn't have come at a worse time. My sister is 35, already taking care of 2 of her own children, plus her little sister, and she plans on getting her teaching certificate this fall. Just when things were going good for her, it seems like she has been set back. My mother is devastated. She and my sister have a very close bond, but this may be the one thing that derails that. My sister feels that people don't think she can handle this, but she doesn't understand that it's not about whether or not she can handle the situation; it's about finding the best solution. And this isn't it.

In about 30 minutes we're going to her graduation, but it won't be a celebration. No one wants to go because we all feel that we can't ignore what's going on. I haven't seen my sister since I got the news, and I think that's for the best. It's hard not being judgemental, but I feel like she's making the wrong decision.

I don't know what else to say. I'm speechless....