At A Loss

After going to a poetry open mic night a few weeks ago I was inspired to write a new piece. I haven't shared this with anyone because I'm not sure if this is the final draft and because it is really sad. I've always wanted to be a songwriter so I think this will be the start of my first song. I'm a little hesitant with getting it out there because songwriting is so personal, but at the same time I would like for people to see the world through my eyes.

Tired of these lonely nights
And I can't put up this fight
Too much longer
Sick of feeling this way
But I'm too afraid to change
I'm just like my mother
Been here one too many times
I'm about to lose my mind
Can't live like this
I don't know what to do
I'm so used to being blue
Maybe I can't be fixed

Too ashamed to ask for help
I must do this by myself
I'm too stubborn
Though I feel that I'm too old
I just need a hand to hold
Give me some comfort
Just say this phase will cease
That my mind will be at ease
Even if you don't mean it
It'll distract me from this pain
Don't know exactly when it came
But it ain't leavin'

Torn in between
The life that I lead
And the person I want to be
Can't make up my mind
I'm running out of time
Do I stay in the comfort of hurt?
Or find my true worth?
Give me a clue
I don't know what to do

Don't want to runaway
Cause the problems stay the same
No matter the location
Just need a change of scenery
To escape my reality
Cause it's just making me frustrated
I'm at a loss as to how to change it