Satan's Taint

I've lived in Philly my entire life and I'm still not used the awful summer heat. Every year I am in shock at how people can go about their day as if the humidity isn't taking their breath away. I know you gotta do what you gotta do, but it's days like this that the weather should be an excusable reason to miss work. If we can have snow days, why can't we have hot days? There should be an allotment of calendar days at every job that people can call their superior and say,' Can't make it to work today because its as hot as Satan's taint. I put the a.c. on, been drinking a lot of water and staying indoors. So, hopefully it'll pass and I'll be in tomorrow, but I'll call you to let you know.' I guess that would only work in utopia for people that work outdoors, like me, but even in a perfect world, I'd still feel guilty about calling out.